Top 8 - Let's All Butcher Queen Songs!!!
Another week of crappy theme nights, another week of crappy performances, and another week of Kellie Pickler's VFTW run! Let's get on with the show!
1. Bucky "Why am I Still Here?!" Covington - Fat Bottomed Girls
A couple of things... why is there a song called "Fat Bottomed Girls"? It sounds like something that Nelly would sing/rap/curse. Bucky must have a thing for big booties though I'm not sure that what the song is really about, despite the title. Randy and Paula liked the performance but Simon thinks it's "mediocre". I would have to agree with.... Simon. Go figure.
2. Ace "My falsetto will make your kids cry" Young - We Will Rock You
Oh man, Ace asks Queen if they could do a fucking army beat and Queen flat out refuses him. SCORE! Is it me or is Ace wearing eyeliner and eye shadow? He's looking more and more like a woman every week. Note to Ace: Stop visiting Ryan Seacrest's dressing room! Ace pairs up his striped blouse with.... pleather pants?!?! Suddenly, a light is going off in my head. ACE IS GAY (or borderline metrosexual-gay!). I thought Ace tried to act like Constantine and it was really obvious at the end. Randy says it's a 5 or 6 out of 10 and that it resembled karaoke. Paula... wait... did they bleep her? I'm not joking. Her comment was bleeped out on my TV screen. Simon says it was a complete and utter mess. Looks like Ace's falsetto didn't do the trick this week... I thought it sucked ass.
3. Kellie "VOTE FOR THE WORST" Pickler - Bohemian Rhaspody
Looks like the rumours are true - Kellie the Fake is singing Bohemian Rhaspody - complete with Clay Aiken's "Solitaire" lights. Wow... her head looks FRIGGING huge and a la Ashlee Simpson with these special light effects. I'm seriously freaked out. And, Kellie's eyes looks like it's 1 cm apart from each other... even more freakier. During her performance, Kellie gets down on her knees on a table - very familiar if you catch my drift. The Pickler has done it again and made Vote for the Worst proud - complete with an eye wink at the end! The dumb bitch actually claims she doesn't have an accent and doesn't know what paper is. LMAO!
4. Chris Daughtry - Inneudo (or is it "We'll Keep on Tryin'"?)
A rock song choice for Chris this week?! WHAT?! OMG! Okay, that was me being sarcastic... Nigel and company certainly shelled out $$$ for the special lights and camera angles this week - what else is new? I found this to be extremely boring and cliche. Just... typical. Why can't Chris do a ballad or a disco song? Oh that's right, he's trying to be true to himself. Yeah, whatever. Paula says to Chris: "The last note, was that a high C?" Chris: "I don't know...." LOL!
5. Katharine "Kat Pee" McPhee - Who Wants To Live Forever
Holy crap... Kat Pee manages to be the only Idol contestant who has a fashion faux pas every single week. Katharine, Katharine... Halloween's in October, not April. She attempts to sing my favourite Queen song "Who Wants to Live Forever" and manages to butcher several notes in the process. The entertainment aspect to the singing was really good. Again, Nigel shells out $$$ for extra special lights while poor Bucky gets measly stage lights. Overall, she's the best of the night so far and there are still 3 more singers to go.
6. Elliott Yamin - Somebody to Love
Elliott has a good voice but watching him is like watching a horror movie. I don't care if he's getting a makeover week after week, I can't just watch him without cringing! A bit off in some parts but probably better than Katharine vocal-wise. I can only say this: Elliott needs to change up his performing skills otherwise he's more in danger than we could think about. Not his best performance overall but
7. Taylor Hicks - Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Is Taylor going to put David Radford's rendition to shame? Taylor starts off the performance by trying to kick the mic stand down and fails miserably. He manages to kick it down on the 2nd or 3rd try. I am trying to forget about this performance because it was the most gimmicky thing I've ever seen in my life. Simon sums it all up by asking Taylor this vital question: "ARE YOU [FUCKING] DRUNK?!!" Yes, Simon. Either that or he's high on cocaine.
8. Paris "Please kill me now" Bennett - The Show Must Go On
Holy Shit. Paris's gone all rocker-chick like. Ever heard of Fefe Dobson? Yep, can you say "carbon copy"? Paris encloses all these things in her performance: jazz hands, jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas Day, outstretched arms like Creed's Scott Stapp, a fake-ass wig and a can of magic beans. Please kill me now.
Can Idol go back to regular theme nights like Movies, 80's, Big Band, Broadway? These theme nights we have now SUCK! Can we vote off all of these people a la Survivor? No? Oh well... Let's just vote for Kellie cause no one deserves to win AI5.
Who Should Be in the Bottom Three: Ace, Bucky, Chris
Who Should Go: Bucky
Who Will Go: Bucky
And lastly, don't forget to support Kellie Hickler for VOTE FOR THE WORST! ;)